Viimasel ajal umm.. so many things on my mind. õigemini too many things..
ja raske on otsustele olnud jõuda ja oehh.. peab asju tegema, milleks tegelikult südant pole.
jällegi - time is an 'sshole
10/30/2010
10/29/2010
Tegin testi ja "üllatusin", et -
Your Hypochondria Rating: | Very High |
Your rating leaves little doubt that you are a hypochondriac. You are driven to great levels of anxiety over your health concerns. Fearing for your well-being borders on obsession for you. Your next step should be to seek a professional diagnosis and treatment for this condition. A much happier life is waiting for you. |
..tjah :D
10/25/2010
Reversing it Foward
the colours of fruit and abandoned trees
it's screaming of joy, which i can't release
I think i'm red in the glow of my thought
he frees the doves who he once had caught.
i take his hand, we run to the field
but infront of his heart he built him a shield
Spring rocks me to sleep in her gentle lap
I saw the truth, she showed me the map.
[peaks rohkem (rohelisena) luuletama jne]
10/22/2010
je, tegin ka formspring'i, http://www.formspring.me/lebachmann , siit saab küsida minu käest igasuguseid asju (ka anonüümselt) mis huvitab, või näiteks mida muidu, otse, ei julgeks küsida.
Anyways, esimene lumi on maas ja see teeb häppiks. Paraku ei tee häppiks väiklased eesti inimesed, vahel mõtlen, miks ma siin s!744u6u5 elama pean... (sry, olen tüdinenud ja vihane)
10/20/2010
Sosin
Ma tahan ja tahan, ega lihtsalt ei saa
ma proovin Su jälgedes rännata
ma mäletan, kui veel Sul' istusin süles
ma alati vaatasin alt Sulle üles
ma proovin Su jälgedes rännata
ma mäletan, kui veel Sul' istusin süles
ma alati vaatasin alt Sulle üles
Luulet Sa sosistades mulle vestsid
tundide viisi me jutuk'sed kestsid
Toomemäel langes siis tuhatkond lehte
kinkisid kaasa mul' kalleima ehte
tundide viisi me jutuk'sed kestsid
Toomemäel langes siis tuhatkond lehte
kinkisid kaasa mul' kalleima ehte
Kõlab mul hinges nüüd lõputu viis
Kui see kord katkeb, ehk näeme me siis...
Kui see kord katkeb, ehk näeme me siis...
Test ütles, et Vanaema on mu hingesugulane, see osutus täiesti õigeks. Tuletasin siin meelde natukene ja lugesin luuletusi, mis ma kirjutasin talle.
10/18/2010
no tere-tere
imelik, kuidas viimastel päevadel ma olen endas selgusele jõudnud ja seda paljudes erinevates aspektides. nii kaua on see aega võtnud ja nii võimatu on see tundunud... kõik need paradoksid minus ja see keerukus ja.. ah kuidas kõik see on mind segadusse ajanud. ma olen alati suutnud teisi inimesi väga hästi analüüsida ja ka aidata kui vaja, aga enda puhul pole see õnnestunud.
nüüd aga on äkki, paari päeva jooksul, vastused ise minu juurde tulnud. see on ühtaegu nii rahustav ja vabastav tunne ja ma võin tõesti vist esimest korda öelda, et ma tean, kes ma olen.
imelik, kuidas viimastel päevadel ma olen endas selgusele jõudnud ja seda paljudes erinevates aspektides. nii kaua on see aega võtnud ja nii võimatu on see tundunud... kõik need paradoksid minus ja see keerukus ja.. ah kuidas kõik see on mind segadusse ajanud. ma olen alati suutnud teisi inimesi väga hästi analüüsida ja ka aidata kui vaja, aga enda puhul pole see õnnestunud.
nüüd aga on äkki, paari päeva jooksul, vastused ise minu juurde tulnud. see on ühtaegu nii rahustav ja vabastav tunne ja ma võin tõesti vist esimest korda öelda, et ma tean, kes ma olen.
10/14/2010
10/04/2010
Bows and flows of angel hair and ice cream castles in the air
And feather canyons everywhere, i've looked at cloud that way.
But now they only block the sun, they rain and snow on everyone.
So many things i would have done but clouds got in my way.
I've looked at clouds from both sides now,
From up and down, and still somehow
It's cloud illusions i recall.
I really don't know clouds at all.
Moons and junes and ferris wheels, the dizzy dancing way you feel
As every fairy tale comes real; i've looked at love that way.
But now it's just another show. you leave 'em laughing when you go
And if you care, don't let them know, don't give yourself away.
I've looked at love from both sides now,
From give and take, and still somehow
It's love's illusions i recall.
I really don't know love at all.
Tears and fears and feeling proud to say "i love you" right out loud,
Dreams and schemes and circus crowds, i've looked at life that way.
But now old friends are acting strange, they shake their heads, they say
I've changed.
Something's lost but something's gained in living every day.
I've looked at life from both sides now,
From win and lose, and still somehow
It's life's illusions i recall.
I really don't know life at all.
Joni Mitchell - jälle üks hingesugulastest
And feather canyons everywhere, i've looked at cloud that way.
But now they only block the sun, they rain and snow on everyone.
So many things i would have done but clouds got in my way.
I've looked at clouds from both sides now,
From up and down, and still somehow
It's cloud illusions i recall.
I really don't know clouds at all.
Moons and junes and ferris wheels, the dizzy dancing way you feel
As every fairy tale comes real; i've looked at love that way.
But now it's just another show. you leave 'em laughing when you go
And if you care, don't let them know, don't give yourself away.
I've looked at love from both sides now,
From give and take, and still somehow
It's love's illusions i recall.
I really don't know love at all.
Tears and fears and feeling proud to say "i love you" right out loud,
Dreams and schemes and circus crowds, i've looked at life that way.
But now old friends are acting strange, they shake their heads, they say
I've changed.
Something's lost but something's gained in living every day.
I've looked at life from both sides now,
From win and lose, and still somehow
It's life's illusions i recall.
I really don't know life at all.
Joni Mitchell - jälle üks hingesugulastest
10/03/2010
reede oli lõppkokkuvõttes parajalt eklektiline ja insane. ma jäin rahule ja samas ei jäänud ka. oli lõbus, kuid mõni inimene pani järjekordse kivi südamele. ja nüüd on mul mõnes mõttes ebamugav mõelda sellele reedele. aga igatahes, järgmine nv tuleb kodu-nv. õppimise ja niisama lõõgastumisega.
i need those two.
i need those two.
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